By Sonia Schwalen, PhD & Samantha Meek, M.Ed

The new academic year will be in high gear before we know it. Starting the school year can be exciting and busy. It’s important to make sure as parents, we are aware of the challenges that our kids, no matter what grade they are in, may be exposed to in today’s society. One of those challenges includes the hot topic theme of bullying. We hear this term all over the media and these days some kids will even use it very loosely to describe any small conflict they have with another child. Understanding what bullying really is and how to recognize it is part of our jobs as parents so we can effectively advocate for the safety of our children.

What is Bullying?

The term “bullying” has gained greater and greater attention in recent years, as reports of bullying, defined as the use of behavioral aggression exerted on a less able victim, have been on the rise. With recent shifts in technology and social trends, bullying can be extremely difficult to identify, making the use of proactive approaches essential when addressing bullying behaviors.

4 Common Types of Bullying:

Physical Bullying – The act of purposely inflicting physical harm upon a victim

Often seen as kicking, hitting, shoving, or other forms of physical fighting

Verbal Bullying – The act of using words to purposely harm another

Often seen as teasing, criticizing, insulting, or name-calling

Relational Bullying – The act of manipulating social relationships or structure to hurt someone

Often seen as purposeful social isolation of another, intentionally harming friendships or relationships, spreading rumors to damage reputations

Relational bullying is often difficult to identify, as the actions of the perpetrator are less direct towards the victim (but can be similarly, if not increasingly, damaging)

Cyber Bullying – The act of bullying via electronic means (phones, computers, etc.)

Often seen as the sending of hurtful messages, responses to online posts, or the posting of material from one’s own account that is purposely harmful to someone else

Cyber bullying is becoming more and more common, as technology is taking over our society and is becoming an increasingly popular method of communication and social interaction

Cyber bullying is particularly difficult for children because it does not allow them to ever escape their experience of being victimized. Access to technology generally is not limited at home for many families, so kids these days are faced with being bullied not only at school but in the home setting where kids once were able to find refuge.

Advice for Parents 

As a parent, one of the most important things you can do to help your child is to LISTEN. Making sure that your child has a safe place to come home to, where they can openly share their feelings and experiences, is of the utmost importance. Victims of bullying often feel embarrassed, ashamed, and unsure of how to handle their situation, which makes creating a comfortable, nurturing, and secure environment imperative to ensuring wellbeing. Make sure to ask your child about their day, talk about what they did, who they spent time with, and what they liked and didn’t like about their daily interactions and activities when they get home each day to ensure that you are aware of what they are experiencing every day. Reassure your child that it is not their fault that they are being bullied, encourage them to form meaningful relationships with others that treat them appropriately, and ensure that they are able to identify and contact a responsible adult if they are in a situation where they feel unsafe.

Communicating with your child’s school about the school’s climate, school rules and behavioral expectations, how bullying behaviors are handled, and what you can do at home to support your child during times when they may feel victimized is highly recommended. Contacting the School Psychologist is a good place to start, as they receive training in prevention, individual and group intervention, and child and adolescent development to ensure that they are equipped to address any concerns that you may have about your child’s development or social interactions.

If you need help having these conversations with your child you can always secure the services of a qualified mental health professional. Next STEPS Worldwide, PLLC has psychologists and therapists qualified to work with children and families on increasing assertive communication skills and processing how to effectively cope with being a survivor of bullying. Call us today at 469-294-9075!